We will only share positive feedback; talking about gaps is not allowed here. So began my coaching program.
To be honest, I was intrigued but a bit sceptical. Sure, we would have a great time, but would we learn the skills? We need to know our gaps for us to get better. Right?
Wrong! In the first five days, I felt everything change. Not only with my coaching skills, but with my whole self. Suddenly, I felt I had the force with me!
And then I read the science in ‘Helping People Change’ by Richard Boyatzis et al, and it all made sense.
A focus on the positive activates that part of our brain that makes us more creative, open to possibility, filled with an excitement to get even better.
And when we focus on the negative, we tend to justify or negate, not change. It actives the body’s stress response. The fight or flight mode.
Think about it. Even after the best performance evaluation, do you feel charged and excited? Or do you ruminate on the one gap that was shared, feeling it wasn’t justified?
It may be counter-intuitive to focus only on positives, but it works.
If you truly want to help someone, including yourself, get better, focus on what is working.
Because what you focus on expands.
Tell me, what do you choose to focus on today?